The You've Got to Be Kidding Me Panties.

Here I am minding my own business, quite literally, and I click on a link for what I think is going to be forget-me-not pansies information. See, for a client I would like to include growing zones and re-seeding information with the paper germination instructions. So I click on the link to read about Forget-Me-Not Panties, thinking it's just a misspelling of pansies.

Oh so veeeeeeeery wrong.

With forget-me-not panties, you can "protect her privates" according to the ad copy.

* Ever worry about your wife cheating?

* Want to know where your daughter is late at night?

* Need to know when your girlfriend's temperature is rising?

Evidently this amazing underwear uses a GPS and sensor to give you up-to-date temperature, heart rate and location of the wearers nether regions. All it needs is regular watch battery — and a payment of 180 bucks. For one.

And what's perfect is these puppies are made in Japan.

Giggling my pants off now... though not literally. Whoever is tempted to buy a set of these babies surely has to recognize that women are smart enough to figure out something fishy is up with with that weird little flower and funny bump that feels an awful lot like a watch battery — and remove it. And, how the heck do you wash those things and still maintain the integrity of the electronic chip?

The website doesn't say, but don't worry, they apparently aren't for sale anyway.