Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Barkfest 2009 will go down as Barf-fest 2009

No wonder it stunk.

A cowpie the size of a dinner plate was deposited right in front of my desk. So goes the start of day three of Barkfest 2009, otherwise known as the extravaganza of festivities surrounding the addition of a new roof on our house.

Barkfest 2009 began with a bang at 7 o'clock in the morning Monday with two giant, and scared, Newfoundlands barking their heads off. However, what began as Barkfest 2009 soon morphed into Barf-fest 2009. Both dogs were so nervous about the goings on overhead and all the attendant bangs, rattles, and nearly constant thuds, that they developed upset stomachs. Even Yuki, Miss Big Tough Bossy Bossins, ran around the house with her tail firmly curled between her hind legs. Katy was much cooler about it all by the end of day one, but it has all caught up to her. She's been barfing up green bile.

I had hoped that she would be able to blow it off and acclimate to it, but nope. Poor kid. Just what she needs, numerous strangers surrounding her house, and wrecking it too. If I were her, I suppose I'd barf too.

And it was she who left the enormous, foul smelling dump by my desk, I know it.

But this afternoon, it wasn't a funky fart left by a big nervous newf that perfumed the air, it was instead — another giant saucer sized dump. In the kitchen, and diarrhea no less, with all the little air bubbles and splatter surrounding it. A foot from it was the most enormous puddle — no pond — of urine I have ever seen.

Oh very wonderful. Just what I needed with a crying baby who isn't ready to go take a nap yet. I can't hold her and bend down to clean up poop goop at the same time, so I compromised.

I put her in her swinging chair, gave her a few shots of pumped breast milk from a bottle, popped the pacifier in and hoped for the best as I went to the kitchen to clean it up. To clean poop goop expediently, all you need to do is scrape it up between two pieces of cardboard (cereal box cardboard is ideal), wipe the area with TP, then scrub and dry.

Piece o'cake.

Well, not when you have a screaming baby who either wants:
A) to be held
B) to be fed or
C) her diaper to be changed (oh goody! More runny poo!).

I chose B.

Feeding her always buys me about 10-15 minutes, so I went for that route since changing her diaper means I have to do that, then feed her for 10 minutes to get her to quiet down and nod off enough to set her back down in her big comfy chair (that's what we call her swinging chair). And I can't clean poo goo one-handed.

So there I was going back and forth between the mess in the kitchen and the swinging chair to give her hits of the bottle. That breast pump sure comes in handy. It is definitely on my top three baby essentials list.

It took several trips back and forth, and eventually Baby FN fell asleep. I think it was the vacuum that pushed her over the edge into milk coma land. And, once you clean one floor, they all need to be cleaned. And windows washed, and surfaces dusted... and and and...

That's what you have to do when you finally have a sleeping baby: Clean house.

I feel for the dogs. They are having a right well rotten time of it now. It's too hot for walks most of the day and they can't go out for yard time because the roofers need to keep the gate open to get their work done. I know the newfas don't want to crap and pee in the house. They are good girls, but when their person can't help them, there's not much point in sitting on your tail very long I guess.

Needless to say, I think the floors in the house are now the cleanest they have been since the day they were installed.

I hope I figure out a solution to the dog needs to go out immediately, on a leash, to the backyard problem soon, because we have at least 2 more days of this. Leaving the baby inside to scream her head off is not a solution. It takes the dogs far too long to get relaxed enough to do their business with all the scary people and equipment around.

........ Be thankful I did not post pictures ........


Virginia Burnett said...

Oh what a day! If I lived nearby, I would come take your newfs out to pee for you. Good luck with the rest of the repairs!

Field Notes said...

You are a brave and generous woman, Virginia. Truly.

Alasdair said...

Wish I could have helped out!

Field Notes said...

Me too, A. Me too!

Field Notes said...

Things are better today!

No incidents to report at this time =D